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| Gabbing with the guv guy Wednesday, March 10, 2010 Buddy Brock Whoa! How did you get in here?” Coming out of the bathroom I had run into my old pal, the I’m-from-the-government-and-I’m-here-to-help-you guy.
“Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d pop in,” he replied. “Umm, check that fly...”
“Oh! Sorry. (zip!) I haven’t seen you in awhile. How’s it going?” “Oh, you know, same old stuff,” he said. “Stimulating this, regulating that, creating jobs, spurring investment, rebuilding a little infrastructure...” “And how’s that working out?”
“It’s... oh, who am I kidding? It’s like trying to teach Morse code to a chimp. No one knows how the economy works. It’s going to fix itself when it’s good and ready, and no one will know how or why although lots of people will take credit. Until then, everything we do is like the flailing of a drowning man – it just makes it harder on the lifeguard.” “Wow! You sound discouraged. I never thought I’d see you this down. You’ve always been so hopey-hopeful.” “Well, even the government can lose its self-esteem. We’re so unpopular now there’s a real danger people won’t even answer the census. They think it’s a plot so Obama can implant a chip in them.” “You mean it’s not?” “Funny! You’re a funny guy. But I’m serious. Just look at the polls, this TEA-party thing, then Massachusetts elects a Republican to replace Ted Kennedy! Massachusetts for crying out loud! If they fall, what hope do we have? Then Texas sticks with its successionist governor who turns down all our money. By 2011 it’ll be 1984 all over again!” “Isn’t it ironic? When Orwell wrote that book, 1984 represented a horrific, scary future where Big Brother controlled every aspect of life. Now, for the Democrats its the horrific scary past – the days of Reagan and Gingrich and ‘Government isn’t the solution, it’s the problem’. The Repubs could even get a Senate super-majority.” “What about our super-majority? We’ve barely had a year to turn things around, and people are already giving up. No health care, no banking reform, no tax reform, no budget reform. All that momentum for change has evaporated like those jet contrails in the sky Campbell always writes about.” “Yeah. What are those, by the way?” “Condensation, you moron.” “See? There’s your problem right there! You talk down to people. You make fun of the TEA parties and the conservatives and Reagan. Bush has been gone a year and your people are still parodizing his speechifications.” “You have to admit, he IS funny.” “So is your guy! Just because he sounds smart doesn’t make him a genius any more than Bush is an idiot just because he wakes up every morning sounding like he learned English from one of those overnight recordings.” “I know. You’re right. Being President isn’t about how smart you are. Jimmy Carter was probably the smartest one ever, and he couldn’t do anything.” “Sly works better.” “You got that right. Well, I better go. Need some stimulus money? Still driving that ‘96 pickup? We may be getting a deal on some Toyotas...” “No, I’m good. But do drop in again. We’ll go down to the coffee shop – those guys have ALL the answers.” “They should run for President.” “Their wives would never allow it.” “Smart ladies.” He turned to walk away. I stopped him. “Uh, that’s the bathroom.” “Hah! I knew that.” Bob Buckel is publisher of the Springtown Epigraph. |